Blaaahg

So far, I am comfortable at my new school. A little too comfortable.
I've been feeling guilty because, even though I have been busy with other things, I only had 7 classes this week (all with the same teacher).
I've worked and played on my computer and I've read a book. I've definitely got a lot of down time.
I'm not complaining, I just feel guilty. I would like to have some classes with the other teacher though. There are two classes that I haven't been in yet and I have been at this school for three weeks sow.
I think that next week, I am just going to be bold and ask him if I can have classes with him next week.
In the meantime, I have walked several extra miles this week. I have also put in a little extra time because of elementary visits after my normal junior high days. Add this to the increased business of this week, and I'm exhausted.

In Japan, there is a string of 5 days that are national holidays. This is usually referred to as Golden Week. This year, it's more like two half weeks. Most people come to Tokyo or go to Kyoto for the holidays. There are also a lot of people who travel outside of the country.
I honestly can't imagine Tokyo having more people milling about than are already here. That's just insane!
Anyway, my friend Tomoko sent me a text late Wednesday night. She found a tour to Taiwan that is 5 days, 4 nights, flight, hotel, some meals, a massage, a one day tour, and a party for $298 (+ tax)! It's one of those last minute deals and the agency wanted the tour to be full. The hotel isn't fancy, but that's about the same price as it is for me to go to Osaka round trip! Needless to say, I am really excited about going to another country.
As a child, I dreamed of traveling the world (mostly because we rarely went anywhere other than Idaho [that's not very exciting if it's only the next state over] to see family). I have only been to Canada (B.C.) and to Japan. I am really excited about seeing another country and getting another stamp in my passport! The cool thing about this is that I only have to use one of my paid days off. For $300, I don't have high expectations, so I'm probably going to be pleasantly surprised.
I will definitely let you know how the trip pans out.
That's all for now...it's going to be another Friday night in bed before 10. Which brings me to this question. Why is it that I can never get to sleep before midnight during the week when I have to wake up early the following morning, but on Fridays, I tend to be in bed early? It doesn't seem right.

Another Fine Mess

Yes, I have gotten myself into another fine mess. (I really have too much going on)
I have been wanting to see a sumo match for years. Since I live in Japan, I thought that I should take advantage of this. One of my co-workers is a sumo fan and promised to plan a time when some of us could go with him. I was very excited when he sent us a text message that tickets were on sale. I dropped off money for him, told my friends, and then last night, it hit me.
I had forgotten that I had agreed to go with the English Speaking Society on their spring retreat. As their guest, they have already made arrangements for me and paid my way. As much as I want to see sumo with my friends, I am already obligated to go to this retreat. I am hoping that my co-worker will be sympathetic and invite me along the next time. I feel really bad, because he went out of his way to include us in his plans and now I've messed it up.
I haven't talked to him yet, but I probably will this afternoon. I'm just hoping that I got the dates wrong and that I can do both. Guess will find out soon.

Monday, Monday

Today is turning out to be a nice day.
For the past two weeks, we have had typhoon-like rain. Today is a little cloudy, but mostly sunny. It is also warm (not hot), so I am very happy about that.
I am back at work after a semi-productive weekend. I only have one lesson today and it isn't until after lunch. Woot!
My Japanese lesson is canceled for today. So I have (hopefully) plenty of time to plan Wed. night's conversation group activity AND have time to veg.
While looking at my elementary school schedule, I noticed that my visits are on Wednesday and Friday. I originally thought that they were for Tuesday and Thursday. The Wed. and Fri. visits make me happier.
For a Monday, I think that things are going rather well (knock on wood).
The only thing that I would like to change if I could, is to give the annoying teachers extra classes today (or put me in more classes) ;+)

Hmm

Does anyone ever really know what they REALLY want to do?
There are so many things that I want to do. The one thing that I want to do more than anything else would not provide for me. (I had a chance to make money at it years ago, but I was not willing to sell out and become something I wasn't for a "shot at being big".
Anyway, there are so many things to try and do. I'm just not sure where I fit into all of this. I want something that I will enjoy, can excel in, can pay the bills, and possibly allow me to travel. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I think that I should continue my education and work towards a Master's. Other times, I think that I need to try and find something that will suit me and that I can work at for awhile. After all, I don't want to be starting a career five years before retirement age. ;+)
I love my current situation. I think a lot of my attitude about it, is that I am accomplishing something that I have always wanted to do. I knew ahead of time that it was temporary. I am pleased with that. I am choosing another year of this life, but I will most likely, not choose a third year. I don't want to become burnt out. Also, I've learned to truly appreciate where I come from (even its flaws). I even decided today that, if I could find a job that I like and that pays enough, I would even consider moving back to my hometown(I know that some people will probably keel over from reading this and knowing how I feel about my hometown). Of course, I would have to have at least 2 weeks vacation and make enough where I could afford to go to Hawaii, Boston, Disney World, or something. I need to be able to have the time and the money.
As a single person, I don't expect that it should be too difficult. I think that I just have to find a place where the cost of living isn't astronomical.
So yeah, I'm thinking "out loud" this way. Just looking for some answers.

Exhaustion

On Fridays, I am usually exhausted from a busy week.
This past week was no exception. Mix in some rain and cold and all I can think about is being home in my p.j.s with a movie or a book (I'm such a party animal!). However, the Japanese school staff has a tradition. At the beginning of their school year and at the end of their school year, they have a party. This is usually in the form of a nomihodai and/or tabehodai (all you can drink and/or all you can eat [usually a set course].) Our party last night was both at a Chinese restaurant.
An interesting thing about these parties, is that there is usually a structure to the party, as well as a time limit. Whether or not you want to drink, you are expected to go (there are alternatives to alcohol for those who don't wish to drink).
I went to our school's party last night, because I am the new ALT (assistant language teacher for those of you who don't know). It was a blast! I already new that one of my teachers is very comedic, but when he drinks, he is hilarious! Also, some of the most reserved teachers are the most out-going people when they have alcohol.
There are several things that I enjoy about these parties. One is that most of the teachers go to the party. This makes it interesting to see them outside of school. I can see what they are really like. I also like that the teachers feel more comfortable trying to talk to me. Either they are inebriated or realize that most of those around us are, so they don't feel like they are being foolish. Through these conversations, I learn more about the teachers and often get invited to participate in other classes. Finally, I love that these parties have a time-limit. This makes it easy to plan other things, or it allows for smaller parties to assemble and go to a karaoke place. It also makes it easy to bow out gracefully without giving an explanation.
Last night, I saw my principal drunk (he's a funny drunk), saw one of the most manly Japanese men I have met wearing a pink, sparkling bow-tie (he was the MC), talked with the art teacher, talked with the former girls' basketball coach, and then watched another teacher fall flat on his face.
It may sound kind of strange, but I felt better knowing that, as a stranger who is always making a mistake, saying something strange, or just too clumsy for my own good, I finally felt like I fit in last night. All of that in 2 hours.

I was still able to come home, get into my p.j.s and watch a movie.

I love Japan!

Thinking on the Way to School

Recently, I started working at a new school. This means that I am going (literally walking) in a different direction from where I went for the past 8 months. It also means that there are a lot of people in this town who probably haven't seen me before (at least up close). Every morning and every afternoon, there are people who stop in their tracks and stare. Some, out of pure curiosity. Others, out of contempt (thankfully, I haven't encountered many in this category). Still others, I think, out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of someone different, fear of progression...it could be many things.
For the most part, I try to ignore the stares I get from people. (I have been guilty of staring at foreigners, too. Japan is very homogeneous). Sometimes, it is a little unsettling. For example, this morning as I was on my way to work, an old woman watched me. The look on her face was not "Oh, a foreigner.", but a look of "What is she doing here and what is she up to?". It made me very uneasy.
I've developed a kind of defense mechanism though. After I get about two blocks from my apartment, I turn on my i-pod. I also stare blankly ahead while I walk. I am very much aware of what's going on, though. People stare at me when they think I can't see them. The instant I make eye contact, they freak out. I have a lot of Japanese people tell me that foreigners making eye contact with them scares them, so I say "stop staring and we won't make eye contact!". It's instinct to meet someone's eyes if they are looking at you.
These walks often cause me to think about many things. The thing I have thought about most in the past two weeks though, is racism.
For example, there are times when I am uncomfortable in my skin. I would like to be able to blend in. At the same time, I have really learned to embrace what makes me different. It seems more natural for me to embrace my heritage in a country where almost everyone has the same hair color, eye color, language, etc...I am unique.
I come from a country that celebrates its diversity. Supposedly. I think that our situation is very complex. Racism still exists in our country. There are people in the US who look very different, but speak the same language. Here, there is a language and a cultural barrier. Sometimes you get that in the US, other times, it is only cultural.
I am often frustrated trying to explain things about American culture (not just "white" culture) and gross generalizations that many non-Americans have of us. Yet, I am also frustrated at a lack of unity that our citizens do not possess that other countries' citizens do.
My head is still spinning.
It is nearly time for me to go home now, so I will post more later.

Lunch Break

I just came back from our kyushoku (school lunch). I've arrived at some combination of the following conclusions: This school cook is good, The food is actually good, or I'm getting used to the food. I'm leaning more towards the first and third.
It's true, I have been a picky eater in the past. I am not as picky as a lot of people who come to Japan. I try to have the mind set of trying everything at least once. Also, I gambarre (do my best) to set a good example for the students and staff (Everyone here eats the same meal). The difference is that I was not raised in this culture, so I am not accustomed to a lot of it.
And while there are many days where I envy other ALTs who are not subjected to kyushoku, there are days where I am happy that I eat school lunches. For the most part, today was not one of them. Although the taste was good and nothing seemed unusual, I don't know if I will ever eat bean sprouts again after I leave Japan. They are included as a main ingredient in most of our veggie salads.
The high point of school lunch today (food-wise), was the delicious peach half. I have really missed peaches. I am sure that they will be in season soon, but they will probably be about 5 dollars for one peach! I won't buy canned peaches either unless I can find an American brand, because most of the canned food comes from China and there have been incidents of food poisoning lately.
The main reason though, that I eat the school lunches (other than that it's required), is for the bonding experience. I can't say much, but I understand a lot. For the most part, it gives me a chance to see some of the teachers out of the classroom. I can see more of their personalities this way. Also, the vice-principal (who transfered from my previous school), will include me in conversation if possible. It is more comfortable, because he knows me from before. He likes to tell stories about me NOT eating fish heads (don't ask). They all think it's funny that the American ALTs won't eat the fish heads, but the other ALTs I've talked to (Australian and British) won't eat the fish heads either. Hmmm....
Anyway, that's my (less than) exciting lunch today. Hurray for peaches!

A Day of Many Posts

I happen to have a lot of extra time today and I have recently been very contemplative.
For example, I am really wondering what I was thinking when I agreed to re-contract. I mean, I really do love my job. The "living" in Japan part has me questioning this decision though. I say "living" because there are times where I feel like I am simply existing, or too busy to enjoy what is going on around me.
Part of this, I'm sure, fits into the ups and downs of adjusting to a new culture. I'm definitely somewhere around the downside of this roller coaster of a journey. I have discovered one thing though, that contributes to the down feelings: EARTHQUAKES. I am confident that I would make a bad Californian and I definitely wouldn't make a very good Japanese.
I come from a place that rarely experiences earthquakes. If we get them, they are usually small. Prior to coming to Japan, the most recent quake I experienced was in Seattle a few years ago. I think that they settled on 6.8, but I can't remember. I do remember that it was big. It was also scary. I was working as a nanny at the time and responsible for two small children. I remained fairly calm until it was over. It was a scary experience that I would like to avoid if possible.
I decided to do some research on earthquakes to help calm my fears. I don't think that was a good idea, because I discovered that 70 percent of the world's earthquakes occur in Japan. (Maybe California is safer)
I don't like not knowing when they will happen, or if they will be weak or strong. I worry that the crack in the ceiling above my bed will continue to grow. What if an earthquake causes the roof to collapse on me? These are things that have been on my mind.
(More to come later)

If Dreams Came True

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you just didn't want to wake up from? Your sleep is deep and your dreams are sweet, but your alarm goes off and all you want to do is go back to sleep and finish your dream? I had one of those dreams last night. It was so nice and I was so happy in my dream, that I really didn't want to wake up and face reality.
In real life, I have been craving that closeness that I had with my ex. While I do have close friends, I just don't have that same connection with anyone else that I had with my ex. I don't know if I ever will have that again. In my dream, I had a friend who, after sometime, we became very close. That friend had everything I was looking for. That friend was also a man, so (in my dream) we began dating.
This "friend" was only part of my mind's creation, but I was so happy. In my dream, I went somewhere with a group of people. I was told that I couldn't go into a particular restaurant because I was poor. The hostess reinforced this by pointing to my shoes and saying that only a really poor person would wear those shoes. There were three others with me. We couldn't buy fashionable shoes in Japan, because they don't sell women's shoes that are bigger than a size 8 (I think). In my dream, I was angry and embarrassed. Being poor had nothing to do with my choice of shoes. Rather, being limited to choices or not having any choices resulted in my lack of fashionable shoes. I simply can NOT change my shoe size. In the waking world, I have struggled with the shoe issue. Especially in Japan. I've never been discriminated because of my foot size, but at least I can understand how that appeared in my dreams last night. Anyway, I was talking to my friend in the dream and he had a friend who worked at an international shoe store. He took me to the shoe store where I found several pairs of shoes. In real life I had to buy a pair of pink and white sneakers (I really don't like light pink). In my dream, this friend said, I also found a pair of orange and white sneakers, because I remembered you said that you wanted some. I also found a bag that matches them. This gesture and thoughtfulness touched me. It seemed so real. I did not want to wake up.
Of course, there was so much more that happened in my dream. I did not want to wake up! I had that feeling of finally connecting with someone, having someone in my life who really understood and accepted me, AND I was able to get shoes!
I fully understand WHY women would want to meet the "man of their dreams". If I were to find a man like this man, I would be very happy.
I completely understand that this was ONLY a dream. I am NOT on a hunt for a man (I think that I am too jaded), but I could be persuaded to change my mind for this man ^_^

Things are Looking Up

After filling space at a desk for one week at my new school, I FINALLY got to go to class today. I dreaded switching schools. I had also stressed myself with worry because I didn't know what to expect at this school. I have discovered that the teachers and students are VERY friendly, but not really accessible. I worried that this would hamper the team-teaching.
Today, I got to go to class and I REALLY enjoyed it. I worked with Mr. C. He has so much charisma so it's easy to feed off of his energy. The students love him and he makes classes interesting. I am looking forward to more team-teaching with him.
I've been kind of overwhelmed with all of the changes going on and the mistakes I continue to make. (FYI: I got my mis-transfered money back yesterday ^_^) The weather was good today, I got to go to class and meet the students, AND it's Tuesday (my only free night during the week). Things are looking up.

Boredom at School

Yesterday was the beginning of the new school year in Japan. It started similarly to the first day of last fall’s semester. Last fall, there was a typhoon during the first week. Yesterday, we had a tropical storm that was typhoon-like. Both times, I went to school by bike and took a change of close with me. The difference was that I didn’t nearly fall into the toilet yesterday while changing clothes.

My new school is considerably smaller than the last school. The kids are friendly here, too. I am anxious to get into the classrooms and get to know them better.

The vice-principal from my previous school transferred to the school I am at now. It is very comforting to see a familiar face and to have someone looking out for me. If it wasn’t for him or the social studies teacher here, I think that I would be completely overlooked.

All of the teachers are very busy with the start of the new school year, but nobody has even mentioned what is going on or what is expected of me. My last school would usually put a memo on my desk (in unreadable kanji), but I could usually figure something out. This school has given me nothing. The women teachers are incredibly friendly though.

I am trying not to compare schools. I want to have a good experience here. I also want to be open to new views, methods, and styles of teaching and doing things. If I am constantly comparing, I think (for myself), that I will not get as much out of my time here. I feel extremely lucky to be where I am (although I wish that I could have stayed longer at my previous school). So far, it seems like this is a really good school. The former ALT had nothing bad to say about this school. Although the only thing that we could get out of him was that he was totally obsessed with his Japanese teacher of English (JTE). So I didn’t really get a balanced perspective.

I’m hoping that my life can get back into a routine. Or at least something close to it. Somehow during spring break, I managed to become so busy, that I usually didn’t get enough sleep. My sleep schedule was thrown off and to make matters worse, I didn’t sleep much the night before school started. Last night, I went to bed earlier than usual, but it was still not enough. I think that a few nights with an extra hour or two would be good, but I won’t be able to do that tonight or tomorrow. I REALLY just want to go to bed right now. I do think that part of this is allergy related. It doesn’t help that so many trees are in full bloom right now either. I crammed so much into my spring vacation that I need a vacation to recover! I went to Osaka and visited some former housemates. We went to Universal Studios Japan. It was crowded, but so much fun. We also had dinner and karaoke together. I got to stay with my friend and her family. They are so nice. The Takeuchis took me to Kobe Chinatown for Chinese food. We also went to an aquarium ( I love aquariums). After coming back from Kansai, I had one day of downtime. Unfortunately, I was sick. The next day, Angel and her coworkers came to visit. We had too much fun. We went did Hanami (watching cherry blossoms), we went to shops and a giant arcade in Odaiba, and somehow, the guys talked us into going to a maid café in Aki Habara. Of course, we stayed up late every night that they were here playing Wii. It was fun, but now I’m exhausted.

Anyway, I have a few challenges at work today. The first challenge is to stay awake. The second challenge is to keep busy enough to keep me from falling asleep. Another challenge is to use my computer without internet. I was very excited to find internet connections at my desk, only to find out that I need a code :+( I’d love to ask my predecessor about this, but I haven’t seen him in about 2 months. I don’t have his contact info and he hasn’t been to the last two or three ALT meetings. Oh well.

I went to our ALT meeting yesterday and it sounds like a lot of changes will take place. For example, we may change to having one meeting a month and it will be at one of 5 junior high schools. We will observe a lesson at that school and then meet afterwards. It sounds interesting. I like that we will have more of these opportunities, but I am also a little disappointed about not going to City Hall every week. I kind of looked forward to those visits.

Tonight, I have a conversation group. I am thinking about playing the “I Never” game. Since I don’t have internet access here (even though I have plenty of time to research more ideas), I will stick with that plan. I had hoped that I would have internet access at my desk, so that I might be able to plan my classes for the month. Wishful thinking on my part, I guess.

I rode my bike to work today. I am trying to figure out the best way to come to work. I really dislike my bike. The tires never hold much air, so I always feel like I am always riding on the rims. It’s faster than walking, but I’m not sure how much faster. I am thinking of walking tomorrow. I just wonder what time I would need to leave to get here on time. Hmmm…

Today’s observation: There are some very young looking teachers in our school. There is one teacher that I originally thought was a student. Oops! It’s a good thing I didn’t tell him that.

I guess it’s time to stop this blog. I am so sleepy, I feel like I will fall asleep while typing this. So, I’m just going to save it and post later.

Tootles!

Too Busy...

Yes, I am too busy for my own good!
Our spring vacation started on March 27th and ends today, April 7th. I tried to pack as much as possible into my break without using up too many paid days off.
On the 27th, I went with friends to Kamakura. We saw several temples and shrines. We also saw the giant Buddha. The best thing about this trip, was that the weather was nice and the cherry trees were beginning to blossom.
On the 28th, I went to Osaka to visit my previous house mates. I stayed with my friend and her family. We drove to Chinatown in Kobe for Chinese food, we went to the aquarium in Osaka, we went to Universal Studios Japan, and we had a reunion/birthday dinner on Monday night.
I came back to Saitama on April 1st. It was pretty low-key until the 3rd. I taught two conversation classes that day and then my friend and two of her co-workers came to my place for the weekend. So much fun! We went to Aki Habara (electronics and manga galore), Hanami (watching cherry blossoms), Odaiba in Tokyo, and basically stayed up late every night playing games. I really enjoyed it.
Today, I am working on my intro for my new school and I am also trying to get all of my laundry done. I need to wear nice clothes to school. Unfortunately, it is raining so I can't dry all of my clothes...grr!
Oh well, I'm just going to try and chill today. I am feeling over-stimulated, but happy.