Another long day at work today. There are still a lot of people around here and I'm still not sure why. The only thing that I can think of is that they are here to check up on the way things are being run. Of course, I think that this would be the perfect opportunity for the ALT to be used, but I guess that I am wrong.
I do have two classes today though. I was supposed to have only one, but the counseling class added me into their schedule (yeah!). So the hour before and after lunch are my only class times of the week at the junior high.
Last night, I was able to talk to my friend about him moving. I feel more relieved now that we have discussed this, at least. I still wish that there was something that I could do to help him out.
Today is another rainy day in Hasuda. I had another English lesson after work yesterday and then stayed up too late hoping to talk to my friend. So I feel very sleepy.
One good thing about yesterday, is that my second lesson canceled, so Katlin and I went to LaPark and had a crepe. As usual, it was good.
Today is payday...woo hoo! So after work, I have to go to the bank to transfer money. Hopefully, I transfer it to my account this time and not into a total stranger's account (again).
Tonight, we are also having an "office party". It was supposed to be a party for the ALTs and the people who work at City Hall (specifically the BOE), but somehow the BOE forgot. The ALTs had to clear their schedules so far in advance for tonight, that we decided we will go out anyway. It should be fun. I am only hoping that I get a second wind, because I am sooooo sleepy right now.
Anyway, I still need to talk to the principal about taking some time off, but he hasn't been in this room for more than 5 minutes in the past few days! Grrr.
Well, this is about the extent of my mundane life.
I'm sure there will be more to blog about later.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
moving
After hours, days, and months of reflection and writing about it, I had devised a semi-plan for my life. No sooner had I posted my blog, than my best friend got online and i.m.ed me to tell me that he is moving. There are no details, just that he is moving.
I'm a little sad. I'm out of the country, and I knew that it was a matter of time before he would leave. I just didn't expect it to be so soon. I had hoped to see him at Christmas when I will be home next. It's selfish of me to want to see him, but I know that his family is in another state. I'm happy for him that he will be closer to his family. I don't think that he realizes that I am happy and supportive of him.
Sometimes, when we make changes, it doesn't mean that we are giving up. Sometimes, it is a means of survival, sometimes, it is to better ourselves, and many times, it is necessary. Usually though, it's a growing process. Whatever his reasons, I just want him to know that I don't begrudge him for leaving my hometown.
I'm a little sad. I'm out of the country, and I knew that it was a matter of time before he would leave. I just didn't expect it to be so soon. I had hoped to see him at Christmas when I will be home next. It's selfish of me to want to see him, but I know that his family is in another state. I'm happy for him that he will be closer to his family. I don't think that he realizes that I am happy and supportive of him.
Sometimes, when we make changes, it doesn't mean that we are giving up. Sometimes, it is a means of survival, sometimes, it is to better ourselves, and many times, it is necessary. Usually though, it's a growing process. Whatever his reasons, I just want him to know that I don't begrudge him for leaving my hometown.
School or Not School
I'm back to thinking again.
I keep thinking about my future. You know, life after Japan? I keep going back and forth on the issue of more education and if so, do I immediately pursue a Master's or should I seek a second degree and then get a Master's in something else?
If I choose not to further my education, will I regret it? Also, where should I live? What should I do? Will I make enough money?
This decision is not an easy decision, but I feel the pressure to make it soon. As a woman, education is essential. But if I pursue a second degree, a Master's and possibly a PhD, I would finish in my late 30s or early 40s. My fear is that I will be too old to be hired. In my case, I truly believe that age is just a number. I am a hard worker and I am young at heart. A great combination, right?
While a 4-year degree is nothing to be ashamed of, I feel the need to have more. I think that I am more marketable by having a higher degree.
I come from a family who has always told me "It's not what you know, it's who you know." I agree that it helps to know people, but if you don't know anything, you don't have much help either. My family has also instilled in the womenfolk that we will marry someone who will take care of us. If we get an education, it's something to keep us occupied or we can get us a "little job" to help with some extra income. most of my family has quit vocalizing this to me, but it continues to be communicated non-verbally. I have serious issues with this mentality.
First of all, I am not set against marriage, but I do think it's important for men AND women to learn how to take care of ourselves. There is NOTHING wrong with supporting myself!
Second, I would hope that if I marry, that man would respect me as I would respect him. I would hope that we could communicate enough to support each other's careers. If it came to a point where one of us had to choose to give up their job, I would like to think that this is something that could be discussed rationally. Rational thought does not assume that I (as the female) must automatically give up my job.
Third, I would very much like to retire some day. The way I see it, is that (again, assuming I do actually get married) two people saving together is better than one. Rather than fighting and running each other down as you are aging because you don't have the savings that you thought you would have (only one of you was working full-time), why not work TOGETHER?
These are just thoughts.
PLEASE NOTE that I am not against marriage and I am not against mothers who stay at home. I am simply trying to dispute my own family's views.
I think that I consider myself old-fashioned in some ways, but I also am not naive enough to think that every woman is going to get married. Or that every husband is able and/or willing to provide for his family. I also realize that, even if I adhere to my family's thinking, I have not yet met the right person to marry to take care of me and my parents aren't going to take care of me until I find someone. That would be ridiculous!
So I say that I would like to have the opportunity to buy a house some day. I would also like to be able to travel when I have vacations. I would like to be able to work a full-time job with benefits and have a 401K.
Sure, I have ideas of what I would like to do. Now comes the hard part. Do I go back to school to pursue a degree in something that I would really love to do (even though I would be putting myself further in debt)? Or do I look for a job without further schooling? I am sure that there is something out there for me and that I just don't know what to look for yet.
I also have a tendency to doubt my abilities. The thing is though, that I think that I am a hard worker, well-rounded and a quick learner, so I'm sure that I could do a lot. I would just need for someone to take a chance on me.
Whatever it is that I decide to do, I feel the pressure to start researching now. If I choose to look for a job right away, I need to start working on a resume soon. If I am looking at schools, then I need to research all of my options. There are deadlines and requirements for admissions. Also, if I choose a Master's program, there may be requirements for the GRE.
Either way I choose, it's a gamble.
I keep thinking about my future. You know, life after Japan? I keep going back and forth on the issue of more education and if so, do I immediately pursue a Master's or should I seek a second degree and then get a Master's in something else?
If I choose not to further my education, will I regret it? Also, where should I live? What should I do? Will I make enough money?
This decision is not an easy decision, but I feel the pressure to make it soon. As a woman, education is essential. But if I pursue a second degree, a Master's and possibly a PhD, I would finish in my late 30s or early 40s. My fear is that I will be too old to be hired. In my case, I truly believe that age is just a number. I am a hard worker and I am young at heart. A great combination, right?
While a 4-year degree is nothing to be ashamed of, I feel the need to have more. I think that I am more marketable by having a higher degree.
I come from a family who has always told me "It's not what you know, it's who you know." I agree that it helps to know people, but if you don't know anything, you don't have much help either. My family has also instilled in the womenfolk that we will marry someone who will take care of us. If we get an education, it's something to keep us occupied or we can get us a "little job" to help with some extra income. most of my family has quit vocalizing this to me, but it continues to be communicated non-verbally. I have serious issues with this mentality.
First of all, I am not set against marriage, but I do think it's important for men AND women to learn how to take care of ourselves. There is NOTHING wrong with supporting myself!
Second, I would hope that if I marry, that man would respect me as I would respect him. I would hope that we could communicate enough to support each other's careers. If it came to a point where one of us had to choose to give up their job, I would like to think that this is something that could be discussed rationally. Rational thought does not assume that I (as the female) must automatically give up my job.
Third, I would very much like to retire some day. The way I see it, is that (again, assuming I do actually get married) two people saving together is better than one. Rather than fighting and running each other down as you are aging because you don't have the savings that you thought you would have (only one of you was working full-time), why not work TOGETHER?
These are just thoughts.
PLEASE NOTE that I am not against marriage and I am not against mothers who stay at home. I am simply trying to dispute my own family's views.
I think that I consider myself old-fashioned in some ways, but I also am not naive enough to think that every woman is going to get married. Or that every husband is able and/or willing to provide for his family. I also realize that, even if I adhere to my family's thinking, I have not yet met the right person to marry to take care of me and my parents aren't going to take care of me until I find someone. That would be ridiculous!
So I say that I would like to have the opportunity to buy a house some day. I would also like to be able to travel when I have vacations. I would like to be able to work a full-time job with benefits and have a 401K.
Sure, I have ideas of what I would like to do. Now comes the hard part. Do I go back to school to pursue a degree in something that I would really love to do (even though I would be putting myself further in debt)? Or do I look for a job without further schooling? I am sure that there is something out there for me and that I just don't know what to look for yet.
I also have a tendency to doubt my abilities. The thing is though, that I think that I am a hard worker, well-rounded and a quick learner, so I'm sure that I could do a lot. I would just need for someone to take a chance on me.
Whatever it is that I decide to do, I feel the pressure to start researching now. If I choose to look for a job right away, I need to start working on a resume soon. If I am looking at schools, then I need to research all of my options. There are deadlines and requirements for admissions. Also, if I choose a Master's program, there may be requirements for the GRE.
Either way I choose, it's a gamble.
Nothing but Time
More random thoughts from a "work-challenged" ALT ;+)
Here is something that I meant to write about before. While I was in Taiwan and we were touring, my travel companion (who is Japanese) and I began talking about Hawaii. She then informed me that the Japanese invented the Aloha shirt AND shaved ice. I didn't argue with her, but I mentioned that I was pretty sure that it wasn't invented by the Japanese, but that it was probably influenced by Japanese fashion. Well, I decided to do some research (I had nothing else to do). Guess what I discovered? The Aloha shirt was in fact, invented by a Hawaiian. In the early 1930s, Elsie Das was commissioned by some Hawaiians to design the floral pattern. At the time, it was fashionable to make shirts out of yukata (Japanese summer kimono). After Ms. Das designed the pattern, the print was sent to a store in Japan where it was printed on to the same material used for yukata. The material was then sent back to Hawaii and made into shirts. So there we have it ladies and gentlemen, the Aloha shirt was brought about by the Hawaiians, but the Japanese had a hand in it.
Secondly, I decided to look into the shaved ice claim. I was pretty sure that this practice had been around for awhile, but probably has evolved over several hundreds of years or more. Well, I was actually surprised to find out that the practice is as old as it is. Apparently, the Romans were known to have made treats from shaved ice as far back as 27 B.C. according to the site: http://snow-cones.com/history.htm In 1934, a machine was designed by a man from Louisiana that makes the ice into the texture that we currently know as shaved ice and snow-cones. To my friend's credit, a Japanese man (born in Hawaii) made this treat famous in Hawaii about 60 years ago. So I would concede that he started a craze in Hawaii, but I don't think that he should be credited for inventing shaved ice.
I have no problem crediting people IF they did in fact do something, but I learned a long time ago not to believe everything you hear. I have also become a little wary of what I am told in Japan. Ethnocentrism is rampant. Rather than get offended, I take these instances as a challenge to learn more about something and then to discuss it again when the opportunity arises.
In the meantime, I think all of this talk may have had some bearing on my Wednesday night English class. Recently, we had one woman drop the class (she is taking 2 classes. Her husband recently retired and wants her home more, so I understand. Another person left the class to begin a year-long study in New Zealand). Well, the "leader" of our class is a nice woman, but she doesn't like to be challenged. She is also the worst offender for NOT speaking English in my class even though her level is good. She is often like a child...everything is in one ear and out the other. I guess that she has been a member of this club for many years. Most of their teachers have lasted for about a year or less. My frustration, is that she is always complaining about the activities that I choose (only one was a real flop). They knew ahead of time that this was my first time teaching an English class (I have done tutorials and assisted) and they don't want to use a set curriculum.
Anyway, because of the decrease in members, I was informed that my pay would be less (I expected that to happen eventually). Well last night, I was getting ready to leave and this woman looked at me and said "You can go home now. We have to have a meeting." I don't know if she meant to be rude, or if it just came out that way. I have a bad feeling about this though. I know that I have done my best, but I also know that I can't please everyone. In Japan, there is an order to do things (that doesn't always make sense to us foreigners) and the decisions are usually deferred to the sempai (senior members). If that's what will happen in this case, then I will accept it. All of the other members have been pleased with my work and I have met most of them outside of the class. So why is there a problem? I think it's because I don't focus all of my attention on her. Also, it is a conversation class, so I play devil's advocate a lot.
"F" as I will call her, usually states her opinions as fact. For example, last night she said that there aren't many gay men in Japan. It doesn't take much to know this is incorrect information. In fact, everyone looked at her like she walked around with her eyes closed all of the time. So, we had a lively discussion about that last night. In the past, we have also had discussion about her belief that all Americans carry guns or the belief that Americans don't like rice, so we eat bread with all our meals (what about potatoes!?). So with things like this, it may mean that I have put myself in a position to be replaced. I may also be reading too much into this.
Whatever the result, I am actually fine with it. I have so much going on now that I think that I might actually welcome the opportunity for an extra night to myself. I would still have two conversation groups. Also, I know that I would still have the opportunity to meet with most of the current members if I choose to. I'm strangely at peace about the whole situation (they may be nothing at all). So I won' t worry about it. I've done my best and I leave the rest in God's hands. He knows what I can and can't handle.
Here is something that I meant to write about before. While I was in Taiwan and we were touring, my travel companion (who is Japanese) and I began talking about Hawaii. She then informed me that the Japanese invented the Aloha shirt AND shaved ice. I didn't argue with her, but I mentioned that I was pretty sure that it wasn't invented by the Japanese, but that it was probably influenced by Japanese fashion. Well, I decided to do some research (I had nothing else to do). Guess what I discovered? The Aloha shirt was in fact, invented by a Hawaiian. In the early 1930s, Elsie Das was commissioned by some Hawaiians to design the floral pattern. At the time, it was fashionable to make shirts out of yukata (Japanese summer kimono). After Ms. Das designed the pattern, the print was sent to a store in Japan where it was printed on to the same material used for yukata. The material was then sent back to Hawaii and made into shirts. So there we have it ladies and gentlemen, the Aloha shirt was brought about by the Hawaiians, but the Japanese had a hand in it.
Secondly, I decided to look into the shaved ice claim. I was pretty sure that this practice had been around for awhile, but probably has evolved over several hundreds of years or more. Well, I was actually surprised to find out that the practice is as old as it is. Apparently, the Romans were known to have made treats from shaved ice as far back as 27 B.C. according to the site: http://snow-cones.com/history.htm In 1934, a machine was designed by a man from Louisiana that makes the ice into the texture that we currently know as shaved ice and snow-cones. To my friend's credit, a Japanese man (born in Hawaii) made this treat famous in Hawaii about 60 years ago. So I would concede that he started a craze in Hawaii, but I don't think that he should be credited for inventing shaved ice.
I have no problem crediting people IF they did in fact do something, but I learned a long time ago not to believe everything you hear. I have also become a little wary of what I am told in Japan. Ethnocentrism is rampant. Rather than get offended, I take these instances as a challenge to learn more about something and then to discuss it again when the opportunity arises.
In the meantime, I think all of this talk may have had some bearing on my Wednesday night English class. Recently, we had one woman drop the class (she is taking 2 classes. Her husband recently retired and wants her home more, so I understand. Another person left the class to begin a year-long study in New Zealand). Well, the "leader" of our class is a nice woman, but she doesn't like to be challenged. She is also the worst offender for NOT speaking English in my class even though her level is good. She is often like a child...everything is in one ear and out the other. I guess that she has been a member of this club for many years. Most of their teachers have lasted for about a year or less. My frustration, is that she is always complaining about the activities that I choose (only one was a real flop). They knew ahead of time that this was my first time teaching an English class (I have done tutorials and assisted) and they don't want to use a set curriculum.
Anyway, because of the decrease in members, I was informed that my pay would be less (I expected that to happen eventually). Well last night, I was getting ready to leave and this woman looked at me and said "You can go home now. We have to have a meeting." I don't know if she meant to be rude, or if it just came out that way. I have a bad feeling about this though. I know that I have done my best, but I also know that I can't please everyone. In Japan, there is an order to do things (that doesn't always make sense to us foreigners) and the decisions are usually deferred to the sempai (senior members). If that's what will happen in this case, then I will accept it. All of the other members have been pleased with my work and I have met most of them outside of the class. So why is there a problem? I think it's because I don't focus all of my attention on her. Also, it is a conversation class, so I play devil's advocate a lot.
"F" as I will call her, usually states her opinions as fact. For example, last night she said that there aren't many gay men in Japan. It doesn't take much to know this is incorrect information. In fact, everyone looked at her like she walked around with her eyes closed all of the time. So, we had a lively discussion about that last night. In the past, we have also had discussion about her belief that all Americans carry guns or the belief that Americans don't like rice, so we eat bread with all our meals (what about potatoes!?). So with things like this, it may mean that I have put myself in a position to be replaced. I may also be reading too much into this.
Whatever the result, I am actually fine with it. I have so much going on now that I think that I might actually welcome the opportunity for an extra night to myself. I would still have two conversation groups. Also, I know that I would still have the opportunity to meet with most of the current members if I choose to. I'm strangely at peace about the whole situation (they may be nothing at all). So I won' t worry about it. I've done my best and I leave the rest in God's hands. He knows what I can and can't handle.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thinking
Ramen again. I'm quite sure that we have had some form of ramen at least 10 times in the past 2 months. It's not that I don't like ramen, it's that the "soup" that is made to put it in is far too salty. Aside from that, I am not very adept to eating ramen "properly". I can't slurp my noodles (the right way to eat noodles in Japan) and I always manage to splash someone else in the process of trying to eat it. The one saving grace now, is that I have at least managed to eat noodles with chopsticks. As embarrassing as these lunches are for me, I think that it's probably very entertaining for my coworkers. In fact, I know that there are times when they openly tease me. I just smile and do my best. (Gotta love me).
Today, I had a difficult time wake up this morning. I was up, but I just couldn't wake up. I had everything prepped last night. When I did my hair this morning, I somehow grabbed the wrong scrunchy. Not really such a bad thing since most of my colors are neutrals, but somehow today, I ended up with a burgundy scrunchy and a coral colored blouse. It's not bad, but it's not my first choice. I thought that I had reached for the beige or black scrunchy. I don't even remember pulling this one out of the basket recently. Also, I put on white socks and am wearing black pants (that are a little short because I had to buy them online before finding out they were too short). So I feel like I am trying to revive the Michael Jackson look (yes, my shoes are black. All I need is a white t-shirt and a black fedora to complete the ensemble. Then again, MJ wasn't wearing a burgundy scrunchy ;+)
I was cornered today by one of the teachers (who also wasn't busy). It seems that Japanese people are really fascinated by women who are 25+ and not married. Once they find out that I have no boyfriend, they want to know what's wrong with me, or if I'm gay. I expected to be asked these questions, but as soon as I told her that I don't have a boyfriend, I just said that I was enjoying being single. She then said "Oh, so you don't have a boyfriend in Hasuda." I told her no and that I had been in a very long-term relationship but was no longer in one. I told her that I didn't feel a need to rush into anything right now and that I just wanted to enjoy being single.
This answer seemed to please her. Then she looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes and said, "God has someone special for you and you will know it when the time is right". I was a little surprised to hear this from her. This is Japan, so I don't usually hear a Japanese person refer to God. It was culture shock for me (or would it be reverse-culture shock?). At any rate, it was a refreshing change to hearing all about how I am old and need to find a man to take care of me. Or that if I become too independent, no man will want me...etc, etc, etc. But you know, I think that she is right. I'm sure that there is someone out there for me and when I am ready, I will look for him. In the meantime, I am content with my life. Besides, how unfair would it be to start up a relationship (long-distance or not) when I have no idea myself, where I will be (literally) in 2 years!? I've narrowed it down to the US, but I can't narrow down to whether or not I will go to grad school, or look for a "real" job, or something else. I put my life on hold for someone for so long and I would not want the same for someone else.
Basically, it would take a very unique and patient man to deal with me. I have a feeling that he is the one who might be ready for me, but that I still have a lot of things to improve on ...and I'm fine with that. ^_^
Today, I had a difficult time wake up this morning. I was up, but I just couldn't wake up. I had everything prepped last night. When I did my hair this morning, I somehow grabbed the wrong scrunchy. Not really such a bad thing since most of my colors are neutrals, but somehow today, I ended up with a burgundy scrunchy and a coral colored blouse. It's not bad, but it's not my first choice. I thought that I had reached for the beige or black scrunchy. I don't even remember pulling this one out of the basket recently. Also, I put on white socks and am wearing black pants (that are a little short because I had to buy them online before finding out they were too short). So I feel like I am trying to revive the Michael Jackson look (yes, my shoes are black. All I need is a white t-shirt and a black fedora to complete the ensemble. Then again, MJ wasn't wearing a burgundy scrunchy ;+)
I was cornered today by one of the teachers (who also wasn't busy). It seems that Japanese people are really fascinated by women who are 25+ and not married. Once they find out that I have no boyfriend, they want to know what's wrong with me, or if I'm gay. I expected to be asked these questions, but as soon as I told her that I don't have a boyfriend, I just said that I was enjoying being single. She then said "Oh, so you don't have a boyfriend in Hasuda." I told her no and that I had been in a very long-term relationship but was no longer in one. I told her that I didn't feel a need to rush into anything right now and that I just wanted to enjoy being single.
This answer seemed to please her. Then she looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes and said, "God has someone special for you and you will know it when the time is right". I was a little surprised to hear this from her. This is Japan, so I don't usually hear a Japanese person refer to God. It was culture shock for me (or would it be reverse-culture shock?). At any rate, it was a refreshing change to hearing all about how I am old and need to find a man to take care of me. Or that if I become too independent, no man will want me...etc, etc, etc. But you know, I think that she is right. I'm sure that there is someone out there for me and when I am ready, I will look for him. In the meantime, I am content with my life. Besides, how unfair would it be to start up a relationship (long-distance or not) when I have no idea myself, where I will be (literally) in 2 years!? I've narrowed it down to the US, but I can't narrow down to whether or not I will go to grad school, or look for a "real" job, or something else. I put my life on hold for someone for so long and I would not want the same for someone else.
Basically, it would take a very unique and patient man to deal with me. I have a feeling that he is the one who might be ready for me, but that I still have a lot of things to improve on ...and I'm fine with that. ^_^
Wednesday
For the most part, today is a boring day at school. I have no classes scheduled until Friday afternoon, but I am still expected to show up and "work".
The students are testing this week and there are a lot of people in suits shadowing the teacher. I know that they're not from our city's board of education (BOE), but they might be from the prefectural BOE. I have no clue. I am just trying to stay out of everyone's way and blend as much as possible (I know, that was funny).
I brought my laptop to work with me today. It keeps me a little busy. I was able to prepare tonight's lesson for my adult class, I've read half of a book, and I've even done a spyware scan on my computer. All of that and it's barely 11 :+(
One cool thing has happened at my school that I forgot to mention in the last post. Our school has a counseling center. There are four students who belong there. They aren't the special students, but they are either bullied in class or have other problems that keep them from being a part of the norm in their classes. I visited them last week. They were shy, but were happy that I was there.
At first, they were a little uncomfortable (maybe they felt ashamed?), but they relaxed as we talked. I told them that I was nervous to be in there too. I explained that I can understand a lot of Japanese, but that I am nervous and bad about speaking it. I quickly found out that one of the students is actually the same at English. He understood a lot of what I was saying and would respond in Japanese. We quickly found a great way to communicate, so we all relaxed.
The teacher told me only a smidgen of why they were in this class. It was mostly because they don't fit in. So I explained that my family moved a lot when I was younger and that I went to a lot of schools. I mentioned that it was hard to change schools and sometimes hard to make friends.
Later that day, their teacher came to me and said that the students would like to have me back. I was surprised. I've also noticed that these students go out of their way to say hi to me now.
I know that there is nothing special on part that was done, but I am happy to know that I have at least had a tiny, positive effect on them. I really do remember how hard junior high school was. Not necessarily on an academic level, but how hard it was to navigate the social aspects of it.
Anyway, I am happy to have another class to go to . There are two English teachers here, but only one likes to use me. The other teacher is nice, but really odd. He is very insecure in his English, so he doesn't use me (this makes me sad). So my schedule is usually hit or miss.
I have felt like such a bum at this school. The teachers and the students really are wonderful, but I feel like I am often reading a book or writing e-mails or something. I don't want to be known as the lazy ALT. Whenever I can, I look for things to do. Usually, they don't let me do anything though.
Our lunch lady is recovering from a broken foot. She also does work in the office, so she lets me help her quite a bit. I enjoy that, but it doesn't usually take me long.
I think that because I don't speak much Japanese AND that I will leave this school in about 6 weeks, they are just not letting themselves get attached. That's fine.
The next session will be the long session, so I'm sure to have more opportunities to get involved there.
So all of that to say that I am really excited about having another opportunity to do something at this school. I'm more excited, because it's not necessarily an English class, but just a time to hang out. Hopefully, it's a chance to help bridge some cultural gaps. In any case, I am looking forward to getting to know them.
The students are testing this week and there are a lot of people in suits shadowing the teacher. I know that they're not from our city's board of education (BOE), but they might be from the prefectural BOE. I have no clue. I am just trying to stay out of everyone's way and blend as much as possible (I know, that was funny).
I brought my laptop to work with me today. It keeps me a little busy. I was able to prepare tonight's lesson for my adult class, I've read half of a book, and I've even done a spyware scan on my computer. All of that and it's barely 11 :+(
One cool thing has happened at my school that I forgot to mention in the last post. Our school has a counseling center. There are four students who belong there. They aren't the special students, but they are either bullied in class or have other problems that keep them from being a part of the norm in their classes. I visited them last week. They were shy, but were happy that I was there.
At first, they were a little uncomfortable (maybe they felt ashamed?), but they relaxed as we talked. I told them that I was nervous to be in there too. I explained that I can understand a lot of Japanese, but that I am nervous and bad about speaking it. I quickly found out that one of the students is actually the same at English. He understood a lot of what I was saying and would respond in Japanese. We quickly found a great way to communicate, so we all relaxed.
The teacher told me only a smidgen of why they were in this class. It was mostly because they don't fit in. So I explained that my family moved a lot when I was younger and that I went to a lot of schools. I mentioned that it was hard to change schools and sometimes hard to make friends.
Later that day, their teacher came to me and said that the students would like to have me back. I was surprised. I've also noticed that these students go out of their way to say hi to me now.
I know that there is nothing special on part that was done, but I am happy to know that I have at least had a tiny, positive effect on them. I really do remember how hard junior high school was. Not necessarily on an academic level, but how hard it was to navigate the social aspects of it.
Anyway, I am happy to have another class to go to . There are two English teachers here, but only one likes to use me. The other teacher is nice, but really odd. He is very insecure in his English, so he doesn't use me (this makes me sad). So my schedule is usually hit or miss.
I have felt like such a bum at this school. The teachers and the students really are wonderful, but I feel like I am often reading a book or writing e-mails or something. I don't want to be known as the lazy ALT. Whenever I can, I look for things to do. Usually, they don't let me do anything though.
Our lunch lady is recovering from a broken foot. She also does work in the office, so she lets me help her quite a bit. I enjoy that, but it doesn't usually take me long.
I think that because I don't speak much Japanese AND that I will leave this school in about 6 weeks, they are just not letting themselves get attached. That's fine.
The next session will be the long session, so I'm sure to have more opportunities to get involved there.
So all of that to say that I am really excited about having another opportunity to do something at this school. I'm more excited, because it's not necessarily an English class, but just a time to hang out. Hopefully, it's a chance to help bridge some cultural gaps. In any case, I am looking forward to getting to know them.
Today Was a Better Day
Today was a good day.
Yesterday, I literally felt like all of the wind had been let out of my sails. Today, though, was a new day.
I had an elementary visit today. Sometimes I dread these visits, because I am unsure of what to expect. This particular school has a teacher in charge who is not very organized, so I tend to worry.
I usually come prepared with a back-up plan, but it's not always age appropriate.
So today I went to the elementary school and found out that there wasn't a plan other than to review the vocab for the days of the week (that's NOT going to take up an entire class!). Then the teacher said that I will be in new classes, so I can do my introduction (that can definitely take up a lot of time!) and then he told me that I will have the 1st and 2nd graders (this means a very SHORT intro).
I had less than 10 minutes to think of a lesson and activities. Somehow, I was able to make a full lesson and two games out of vocab cards, a cd, and two fly swatters (never used, of course). I never thought that I was creative, but I think that God answered my prayer today when I asked Him for help.
Anyway, I usually have a handful of students who like to act up or who are just bad in class, but today was unusual. There were no bad kids. I REALLY enjoyed school today. A few of the boys kissed my hand because they saw that greeting in a movie and assumed that foreigners greeted each other that way.
I was able to have a basic conversation with the 2nd graders who invited me to their class for lunch, too. On the way home from school, they raced to catch up with me. As we passed the rice field, the boys were catching tadpoles and showing them to me. One boy even found a baby shrimp ( I have no idea). We walked and talked together for quite awhile. At one point when the sidewalk narrowed, I had about 20 kids behind me...I wonder what the people in the cars were thinking about the gaijin leading their children.
Little kids are so cute and so accepting ^_^
Since it's Tuesday night, that unofficially means ALT night at Saizeriya (a family restaurant). The four of us who live in this building try to meet once a week for dinner, because we don't always see each other and we do get along. We actually enjoy being around each other. We hadn't had a Tuesday outing in a few weeks, so it was really nice to visit and chat. The restaurant wasn't even crowded (Very Rare). We talked about our schools, but we laughed a lot. It was really nice.
Today was a better day.
Yesterday, I literally felt like all of the wind had been let out of my sails. Today, though, was a new day.
I had an elementary visit today. Sometimes I dread these visits, because I am unsure of what to expect. This particular school has a teacher in charge who is not very organized, so I tend to worry.
I usually come prepared with a back-up plan, but it's not always age appropriate.
So today I went to the elementary school and found out that there wasn't a plan other than to review the vocab for the days of the week (that's NOT going to take up an entire class!). Then the teacher said that I will be in new classes, so I can do my introduction (that can definitely take up a lot of time!) and then he told me that I will have the 1st and 2nd graders (this means a very SHORT intro).
I had less than 10 minutes to think of a lesson and activities. Somehow, I was able to make a full lesson and two games out of vocab cards, a cd, and two fly swatters (never used, of course). I never thought that I was creative, but I think that God answered my prayer today when I asked Him for help.
Anyway, I usually have a handful of students who like to act up or who are just bad in class, but today was unusual. There were no bad kids. I REALLY enjoyed school today. A few of the boys kissed my hand because they saw that greeting in a movie and assumed that foreigners greeted each other that way.
I was able to have a basic conversation with the 2nd graders who invited me to their class for lunch, too. On the way home from school, they raced to catch up with me. As we passed the rice field, the boys were catching tadpoles and showing them to me. One boy even found a baby shrimp ( I have no idea). We walked and talked together for quite awhile. At one point when the sidewalk narrowed, I had about 20 kids behind me...I wonder what the people in the cars were thinking about the gaijin leading their children.
Little kids are so cute and so accepting ^_^
Since it's Tuesday night, that unofficially means ALT night at Saizeriya (a family restaurant). The four of us who live in this building try to meet once a week for dinner, because we don't always see each other and we do get along. We actually enjoy being around each other. We hadn't had a Tuesday outing in a few weeks, so it was really nice to visit and chat. The restaurant wasn't even crowded (Very Rare). We talked about our schools, but we laughed a lot. It was really nice.
Today was a better day.
Monday, May 26, 2008
FRUSTRATION
Well, I was very happy that my neighbor came to talk to me on Saturday night, but I should have known that he was up to something.
First of all, I want to point out that I think it was strange that he waited until after 9:00pm on Saturday to come to my door. I'm pretty sure that is considered rude in most cultures (except in an emergency), until you've actually met the person.
At any rate, the neighbor came by to apologize to me. I know that my Japanese isn't great, but I understood enough that HE was apologizing for the noises that HE was making. UNFORTUNATELY, he turns around and says to our landlords, that he is making noises, because I am the noisy person...WHAT!?!?!? How much noise can I be making while I am sleeping (or hoping to) in my bed at 2 am. He is the one who is vacuuming, hammering, playing DDR, watching comedies at high volume. How does he figure!?
I had been warned that this neighbor is quite different, so I was afraid to say anything. I didn't want problems to get worse. On the other hand, I am tired of being tired all of the time. The past few days have been wonderful. My neighbor has been quiet, so I've been getting full nights of sleep. It's amazing how great it is!
I like our landlords and the last thing that I want to do is stir up trouble. I really don't appreciate being treated like this and it is so frustrating because of the language barrier. Now that my neighbor knows how limited my Japanese speech is, I really think that he will take advantage of this.
The thing that concerns me though, is that I am still here for another year.
It seems that it is OK to be here as long as I'm a visitor, but a lot of people don't like outsiders living among a homogeneous environment. It often feels that, even if the problems are instigated by one of their own, it's automatically the foreigner who is a trouble maker.
First of all, I want to point out that I think it was strange that he waited until after 9:00pm on Saturday to come to my door. I'm pretty sure that is considered rude in most cultures (except in an emergency), until you've actually met the person.
At any rate, the neighbor came by to apologize to me. I know that my Japanese isn't great, but I understood enough that HE was apologizing for the noises that HE was making. UNFORTUNATELY, he turns around and says to our landlords, that he is making noises, because I am the noisy person...WHAT!?!?!? How much noise can I be making while I am sleeping (or hoping to) in my bed at 2 am. He is the one who is vacuuming, hammering, playing DDR, watching comedies at high volume. How does he figure!?
I had been warned that this neighbor is quite different, so I was afraid to say anything. I didn't want problems to get worse. On the other hand, I am tired of being tired all of the time. The past few days have been wonderful. My neighbor has been quiet, so I've been getting full nights of sleep. It's amazing how great it is!
I like our landlords and the last thing that I want to do is stir up trouble. I really don't appreciate being treated like this and it is so frustrating because of the language barrier. Now that my neighbor knows how limited my Japanese speech is, I really think that he will take advantage of this.
The thing that concerns me though, is that I am still here for another year.
It seems that it is OK to be here as long as I'm a visitor, but a lot of people don't like outsiders living among a homogeneous environment. It often feels that, even if the problems are instigated by one of their own, it's automatically the foreigner who is a trouble maker.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
It's Getting Hot in Here
So suddenly, we are back to warm weather. We went from cold and rainy to sunny, hot and humid. Bleah. I bought a fan today. I actually got a good deal on it and it puts out quite a bit of air. I'm very pleased with my purchase.
I am trying to hold off for as long as possible from turning on my air conditioner. My work place isn't air conditioned and it is only May. Therefore, I shall stick it out.
I think that my summer is going to be pretty lonely. My friends all seem to be leaving me and I don't think that anyone will be visiting me. It's a shame that nobody can come to see me, because I do get a lot of free time. I understand that it is expensive to visit AND it is too hot for a lot of people.
I'm just going to stay positive.
I am trying to hold off for as long as possible from turning on my air conditioner. My work place isn't air conditioned and it is only May. Therefore, I shall stick it out.
I think that my summer is going to be pretty lonely. My friends all seem to be leaving me and I don't think that anyone will be visiting me. It's a shame that nobody can come to see me, because I do get a lot of free time. I understand that it is expensive to visit AND it is too hot for a lot of people.
I'm just going to stay positive.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Is Double Better Than Half?
Today was the retreat for the English Speaking Society. It was actually enjoyable. It became more enjoyable after I finished my speech and could focus on what the others were saying.
There was a family from Nepal that was invited as English speaking guests. They were so nice and so friendly. I really enjoyed talking with them.
I really enjoy my time at the ESS events, because the people are so genuine. They are very kind and accommodating. My locals are kind, too. It's just that I live in kind of a country town and my adult students are more apt to ask or say things that are a little rude.
Anyway, I had a good time listening to the speeches, enjoying dinner, and then enjoying small group discussions with the ESS members.
The first discussion was easy for me to debate many angles. One member even pointed out as part of his argument that Japanese are not trained to be good debaters. He mentioned that the ease with which I could support an argument for either side of our conversation was proof that Japanese can learn something from our education methods (go figure).
The most impressive part of our conversation, was when we were talking about whether it's an advantage or disadvantage to grow up speaking more than one language. One man used the example of Japanese men marrying American women and then coming to live back in Japan when their children are about 7 or 8. Mr. Toyama pointed out that a lot of people would label these children as "half", but he likes to refer to them as "double", because they have two cultures, two language, and they are usually envied for being able to speak two languages with such ease.
I've been thinking about that all night. That comment really made me just step back for a minute. I mean, what American adopted this policy? "Double" seems richer and more humane than saying "half". Would it change things if the connotations sounded more positive rather than negative? "Half" sounds less than human, but "bi-racial" or "multi-racial" doesn't seem right either, because we are all still part of the human race (one race), so maybe something like "double", not necessarily "double" would be a better choice. (Wow...that was quite the run-on sentence). It's certainly something that I would like to ask others about. I want to know their thoughts on this.
There was a family from Nepal that was invited as English speaking guests. They were so nice and so friendly. I really enjoyed talking with them.
I really enjoy my time at the ESS events, because the people are so genuine. They are very kind and accommodating. My locals are kind, too. It's just that I live in kind of a country town and my adult students are more apt to ask or say things that are a little rude.
Anyway, I had a good time listening to the speeches, enjoying dinner, and then enjoying small group discussions with the ESS members.
The first discussion was easy for me to debate many angles. One member even pointed out as part of his argument that Japanese are not trained to be good debaters. He mentioned that the ease with which I could support an argument for either side of our conversation was proof that Japanese can learn something from our education methods (go figure).
The most impressive part of our conversation, was when we were talking about whether it's an advantage or disadvantage to grow up speaking more than one language. One man used the example of Japanese men marrying American women and then coming to live back in Japan when their children are about 7 or 8. Mr. Toyama pointed out that a lot of people would label these children as "half", but he likes to refer to them as "double", because they have two cultures, two language, and they are usually envied for being able to speak two languages with such ease.
I've been thinking about that all night. That comment really made me just step back for a minute. I mean, what American adopted this policy? "Double" seems richer and more humane than saying "half". Would it change things if the connotations sounded more positive rather than negative? "Half" sounds less than human, but "bi-racial" or "multi-racial" doesn't seem right either, because we are all still part of the human race (one race), so maybe something like "double", not necessarily "double" would be a better choice. (Wow...that was quite the run-on sentence). It's certainly something that I would like to ask others about. I want to know their thoughts on this.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Slow Progress
I finally talked to my supervisor and asked him to talk to the landlords about the downstairs neighbors. I've noticed a change in the noise level (they are still pretty noisy). Instead of being noisy until sometime past 4 a.m., they are stopping around 2 (baby steps). Last night, I only heard the hammer for about 2 minutes and it was before midnight. So I am hopeful that things will improve some...woot!
This weekend, I have been invited to an English club's retreat. I am really regretting having agreed to this. I was just informed that I must give a 5 minute speech. I know that it's in English (which should make me feel better), but I really DON'T like speeches. Oh well, I guess I'll do my best though. I'm just a little worried because I have a tendency to speak quickly when I am nervous. Since I am giving the speech to non-native English speakers, I have to focus on speaking slower than usual. In about 36 hours, it will all be over. In the meantime, I think I can, I think I can...
I think that our spring is finally here. I thought that it was here before, but we had a week of cold and rain. Yesterday was actually a beautiful day! I went to bed on Wednesday night with my heater on (the timer was only set for it to be on for two hours). When I woke up, it was so warm, I had to open my windows. Today is another gorgeous day.
On to some great news...
My birthday was in March, but I got two packages yesterday from my family for my birthday. The best part was, that some of my friends pitched in too. I was so excited and overwhelmed with happiness. ^_^ I was also thankful that everyone was so thoughtful! (My family has a tendency to NOT be thoughtful when it comes to other family members, but I'm not going to get into that).
Anyway, I had casually mentioned some movies that I wanted to see, and I got two of them for my birthday. I also got some books (I <3 books!). My sister sent me a hoodie (yeah, Kimmee!) and a t-shirt. She also sent socks (I can't get my size in Japan, so I was VERY happy ^_^).
My parents also included a box of Girls Scouts Thin Mint Cookies (yum) AND some Rice Crispy Treats!!! I have to be careful or I will go into sugar shock!
My brother even included something for me (if you knew how my brother is about "remembering" birthdays, you would understand my shock). One friend and her daughter included a card, a necklace and a guide to Mario Galaxy for my Wii (this gift is extremely thoughtful, because my game is in Japanese. Sometimes, I need some extra help, so I thought that this was amazing!). Then, another friend sent some jewelry and a card.
All of this was so unexpected, it was really nice and appreciated. It felt like Christmas.
Actually, I can't even begin to describe how I felt. I had been having a hard time last weekend and at the beginning of the week, but things have been getting better. I have been trying to focus on positive things and then I get a package. To have notes and gifts from friends and family made me feel like I was missed and appreciated.
It also reminded me that I am very blessed.
This weekend, I have been invited to an English club's retreat. I am really regretting having agreed to this. I was just informed that I must give a 5 minute speech. I know that it's in English (which should make me feel better), but I really DON'T like speeches. Oh well, I guess I'll do my best though. I'm just a little worried because I have a tendency to speak quickly when I am nervous. Since I am giving the speech to non-native English speakers, I have to focus on speaking slower than usual. In about 36 hours, it will all be over. In the meantime, I think I can, I think I can...
I think that our spring is finally here. I thought that it was here before, but we had a week of cold and rain. Yesterday was actually a beautiful day! I went to bed on Wednesday night with my heater on (the timer was only set for it to be on for two hours). When I woke up, it was so warm, I had to open my windows. Today is another gorgeous day.
On to some great news...
My birthday was in March, but I got two packages yesterday from my family for my birthday. The best part was, that some of my friends pitched in too. I was so excited and overwhelmed with happiness. ^_^ I was also thankful that everyone was so thoughtful! (My family has a tendency to NOT be thoughtful when it comes to other family members, but I'm not going to get into that).
Anyway, I had casually mentioned some movies that I wanted to see, and I got two of them for my birthday. I also got some books (I <3 books!). My sister sent me a hoodie (yeah, Kimmee!) and a t-shirt. She also sent socks (I can't get my size in Japan, so I was VERY happy ^_^).
My parents also included a box of Girls Scouts Thin Mint Cookies (yum) AND some Rice Crispy Treats!!! I have to be careful or I will go into sugar shock!
My brother even included something for me (if you knew how my brother is about "remembering" birthdays, you would understand my shock). One friend and her daughter included a card, a necklace and a guide to Mario Galaxy for my Wii (this gift is extremely thoughtful, because my game is in Japanese. Sometimes, I need some extra help, so I thought that this was amazing!). Then, another friend sent some jewelry and a card.
All of this was so unexpected, it was really nice and appreciated. It felt like Christmas.
Actually, I can't even begin to describe how I felt. I had been having a hard time last weekend and at the beginning of the week, but things have been getting better. I have been trying to focus on positive things and then I get a package. To have notes and gifts from friends and family made me feel like I was missed and appreciated.
It also reminded me that I am very blessed.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Stuff
OK, so I haven't been very good at updating this blog. In my defense, I have been really busy. When I did have some down time, I was in a funk.
First off, I had the opportunity to go to Taiwan for about $300 US. That price included round-trip airfare, hotel for 4 nights, a one-day tour, and a foot massage. I definitely got my money's worth!
I went to Taiwan during Golden Week in Japan. I went with a friend. (Her mother is one of my conversation class students). We crammed so much into the short time that we were there, so I feel like I got a feel of Taiwan. We stayed in Taipei and explored the night markets, but we also bussed it to a small mountain town for a day and then went by train to a sea-side town. It was great! We also went to the top of Taipei 101. It is currently the tallest building in the world. I thought that this was cool, because I went to the top of the Sears Tower (when it was still the world's tallest building) when I lived in Chicago.
I came back from Taiwan and only had a 2-day work week. I had elementary visits at two new schools. It was so much fun! As usual, the kids have a LOT of energy, but I really enjoyed it. They even allowed me to go out and play dodge ball with them at lunch time. One boy was really disappointed when I wouldn't take off my glasses. He told his friend that he wanted to hit me in the head (yeah, they can be snot-heads sometimes, but they are still adorable). I told the kids that I needed to wear my glasses so that I could see. One kid said that it would be more interesting if I couldn't see the ball coming...I'll bet!
The weekend was too busy. It was cold and rainy all weekend and it hasn't warmed up any.
I went to a soba party on Saturday at a former English student's house. It was nice to look at her rose garden and eat some really good food. It came up during lunch that I am lactose intolerant and that I am allergic to strawberries. One woman actually told me that my body was selfish. WHAT!?!?!? That's the second time I had heard that during the week. Do they really think that I just decided to be selfish and that's why I can't eat strawberries or milk? Do they even know what it's like to have to give up things that you really like because it causes pain and suffering?
I wouldn't call that selfish at all! Anyway, that really bothered me. They also continued to talk about me as if I wasn't there and as if I were some freak of nature. For example, they can't believe that I'm as big as I am, because I don't eat much (I've been saying that for years). They suggested that I'm not eating enough Japanese food. I suggested that the Japanese food I've been getting isn't exactly healthy. So they accused me of eating fast-food all of the time. Umm, yeah. I've been to our McDonalds MAYBE 5 times in one year...that's a lot. I usually cook for my self. I like salads, but I like meat, too. It's all about balance. Why can't they just accept that my body is messed up? I'm also a good 8+ inches taller than them and my feet are ginormous, but they aren't talking about any of that.
So yeah, I'm guilty of stewing over that all weekend. I'm so tired of being TOLD what ALL Americans think, say, do, believe, eat, etc... I keep trying to reiterate that part of the beauty of America, is that we are ALL DIFFERENT. We are not a homogeneous country like most countries in Asia. A lot of my friends and co-workers here just can't seem to grasp that concept. We have been raised with a focus on individual accomplishments, whereas Asian countries focus on what's best for the group. Consequently, there is a great deal of time and money spent on trying to conform. Then there's me. I never wanted to be labeled or put in a box. That's exactly what they are trying to do, because that's how things work around here. So yeah, that bothered me.
Lately, my allergies have been bothering me (and the neighbors are STILL burning trash), so I have been getting these terrible headaches. I don't usually get headaches and I am a little concerned. I made the mistake of mentioning this to one of my Japanese friends. She suggested that I eat certain Japanese foods. When I heard what she suggested, I asked if she was trying to kill me. Everything listed was high in salt or saturated in soy sauce (which is extremely high in salt). I know enough to know that if there is too much salt in your system, it can cause headaches. If I already have a headache, why would I want to make it worse? I don't get it.
Anyway, I've been trying to get more sleep. I haven't slept well for several months because of my obnoxious neighbors (what are they building in the middle of the night). So I slept more than usual over the weekend. It seemed to help. I'm going to try to add on an extra hour of sleep every night this week to see if that will help.
In the meantime, I'm going to try not to let too much get to me right now. I understand that I am tired, I'm not feeling quite right, and I am on a downward slope of that roller coaster ride that comes from living abroad.
I just have to get through this. I know that it's temporary. If I really wanted to, I know that I could also quit right now, but that wouldn't really solve much. I re-contracted and I'm going to honor that. Things WILL get better. Overall, they are good, I'm just going through a rough patch.
I'm just going to focus on getting through this year and figuring out what it is I want to do next (because I have NO IDEA!). Yikes!
First off, I had the opportunity to go to Taiwan for about $300 US. That price included round-trip airfare, hotel for 4 nights, a one-day tour, and a foot massage. I definitely got my money's worth!
I went to Taiwan during Golden Week in Japan. I went with a friend. (Her mother is one of my conversation class students). We crammed so much into the short time that we were there, so I feel like I got a feel of Taiwan. We stayed in Taipei and explored the night markets, but we also bussed it to a small mountain town for a day and then went by train to a sea-side town. It was great! We also went to the top of Taipei 101. It is currently the tallest building in the world. I thought that this was cool, because I went to the top of the Sears Tower (when it was still the world's tallest building) when I lived in Chicago.
I came back from Taiwan and only had a 2-day work week. I had elementary visits at two new schools. It was so much fun! As usual, the kids have a LOT of energy, but I really enjoyed it. They even allowed me to go out and play dodge ball with them at lunch time. One boy was really disappointed when I wouldn't take off my glasses. He told his friend that he wanted to hit me in the head (yeah, they can be snot-heads sometimes, but they are still adorable). I told the kids that I needed to wear my glasses so that I could see. One kid said that it would be more interesting if I couldn't see the ball coming...I'll bet!
The weekend was too busy. It was cold and rainy all weekend and it hasn't warmed up any.
I went to a soba party on Saturday at a former English student's house. It was nice to look at her rose garden and eat some really good food. It came up during lunch that I am lactose intolerant and that I am allergic to strawberries. One woman actually told me that my body was selfish. WHAT!?!?!? That's the second time I had heard that during the week. Do they really think that I just decided to be selfish and that's why I can't eat strawberries or milk? Do they even know what it's like to have to give up things that you really like because it causes pain and suffering?
I wouldn't call that selfish at all! Anyway, that really bothered me. They also continued to talk about me as if I wasn't there and as if I were some freak of nature. For example, they can't believe that I'm as big as I am, because I don't eat much (I've been saying that for years). They suggested that I'm not eating enough Japanese food. I suggested that the Japanese food I've been getting isn't exactly healthy. So they accused me of eating fast-food all of the time. Umm, yeah. I've been to our McDonalds MAYBE 5 times in one year...that's a lot. I usually cook for my self. I like salads, but I like meat, too. It's all about balance. Why can't they just accept that my body is messed up? I'm also a good 8+ inches taller than them and my feet are ginormous, but they aren't talking about any of that.
So yeah, I'm guilty of stewing over that all weekend. I'm so tired of being TOLD what ALL Americans think, say, do, believe, eat, etc... I keep trying to reiterate that part of the beauty of America, is that we are ALL DIFFERENT. We are not a homogeneous country like most countries in Asia. A lot of my friends and co-workers here just can't seem to grasp that concept. We have been raised with a focus on individual accomplishments, whereas Asian countries focus on what's best for the group. Consequently, there is a great deal of time and money spent on trying to conform. Then there's me. I never wanted to be labeled or put in a box. That's exactly what they are trying to do, because that's how things work around here. So yeah, that bothered me.
Lately, my allergies have been bothering me (and the neighbors are STILL burning trash), so I have been getting these terrible headaches. I don't usually get headaches and I am a little concerned. I made the mistake of mentioning this to one of my Japanese friends. She suggested that I eat certain Japanese foods. When I heard what she suggested, I asked if she was trying to kill me. Everything listed was high in salt or saturated in soy sauce (which is extremely high in salt). I know enough to know that if there is too much salt in your system, it can cause headaches. If I already have a headache, why would I want to make it worse? I don't get it.
Anyway, I've been trying to get more sleep. I haven't slept well for several months because of my obnoxious neighbors (what are they building in the middle of the night). So I slept more than usual over the weekend. It seemed to help. I'm going to try to add on an extra hour of sleep every night this week to see if that will help.
In the meantime, I'm going to try not to let too much get to me right now. I understand that I am tired, I'm not feeling quite right, and I am on a downward slope of that roller coaster ride that comes from living abroad.
I just have to get through this. I know that it's temporary. If I really wanted to, I know that I could also quit right now, but that wouldn't really solve much. I re-contracted and I'm going to honor that. Things WILL get better. Overall, they are good, I'm just going through a rough patch.
I'm just going to focus on getting through this year and figuring out what it is I want to do next (because I have NO IDEA!). Yikes!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
