A New Year

Happy New Year (a couple of weeks late, but it's still January)!
It is only January 12th, but it has been a busy month already. I did not make any resolutions (I resolved several years ago to quit making New Year's resolutions. It was probably one of the few I have managed to keep). I still take time to reflect and to make goals, though.
Finding myself in a new country with a new language and a new job, I don't feel the need to set lofty goals this year. I feel like that would be completely insane. My immediate goal is to continue to survive. I would also like to learn more Japanese. It seems that the workbooks through my program just aren't cutting it. Without actually conversing, I don't learn.
I have also purposed to get out and do more sight-seeing. I find myself absolutely exhausted on the weekends. I spend Saturdays recovering and cleaning. Most of the time, I've been going to church on Sundays, so that doesn't leave much time for exploring. Sadly, I feel guilty no matter what my decisions are.
Oh yeah, and I am going to TRY to not feel guilty all of the time.
As I mentioned, this month has already been busy. With holidays, traveling, and a new school term, everything seems chaotic. The crummy weather and lack of sleep (thank you kindly, downstairs neighbors), I have felt almost detached. Frustration plays a big part of it, too. Don't get me wrong. I REALLY do like it here. I am very happy with my job and I am always so happy interacting with my students. Outside of the classroom can be a different story though. I am tired.
I am tired of certain people (a person, really) working against me rather than with me. I am tired of thinking that I have finally figured something out, only to discover that I really haven't. I am tired of people who expect my Japanese to be flawless by now (HONESTLY! How much could they understand and speak after two years of studying English?). I am tired of people giving me guilt trips for whatever their cause of the day is. I am tired of friends who try to manipulate. I am tired of people who act like I owe them so many favors (I'm not sure why, because I am usually a very giving person. It's a fault of mine, because I am often taken advantage of). I'm also tired of people trying to plan my life or attach themselves to my plans. I am also tired of everyone's drama! Most of the time, it's trivial. Don't drag me in it, just grow up and deal with it! I don't mind being supportive, but I am not going to solve your problems for you.
I am tired of people who are experts on everything or have to top everything I do. That's all I will say about that.neighbors. I understand that some people work different shifts, but that doesn't mean that you have to get drunk every night, laugh and talk loudly, vacuum at 2:00am or make really loud noises at 4:30 every morning before you go to bed. I really would like some sleep! I think it is wearing on my nerves and causing me to be irritable.
Finally, I am really tired of my downstairs
This is not just about one person, but several people. Please don't think that I am purposely directing this at one person. It is my GENERAL frustrations of family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors, and strangers. It is my frustration of how I let these interactions bother me.
Basically, I am tired and am running out of patience. It's not a good quality and it's NOT something that I want to continue with. I have been feeling like things have bottomed out and that I am scrambling to stay afloat. So, if I seem a little moody, please don't take it personally. Please try to be patient with me while I make decisions regarding changes and directions in my life.
It's time for me to take steps toward personal growth. This is my goal for the year.